I am and you are too. It’s true but do we really believe it? I have to admit I struggle with this. I have for most of my life. As a kid I was always the tallest. That made me feel big and fat, even though now I realize I certainly wasn’t. A lot of those same feelings have stayed with me into adulthood. I often feel self conscious when I am with my husband and want to cover myself up. I forget that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
God wants me to honor him with the body he gave me. There are many ways I can do that. One area is in my relationship with my husband. Thankfully he loves me just as I am. He doesn’t see all the flaws that I see. He sees the beautiful body that God made for me. “The message God sends about our bodies is ‘Rejoice in the body I gave you. Use it to honor Me and to please your husband.’” Lorraine Pintus, Intimate Issues.
Please understand that it isn’t realistic to think we will always have our 17 year old body. Things change. We have babies - some by c-section so we have scars. Things shift. It’s a fact of life. After age 30 toned muscle turns to slow-burning fat. After age 40 natural weight gain occurs. We can’t turn back the clock or make time stand still but there are steps we can take to help us feel better about our bodies. We can eat healthfully, exercise regularly and get plenty of sleep. These things will help us feel more confident about how our bodies look, and in turn, give us more confidence in the bedroom.
And let’s not forget the perspective of our husbands. They want us to look good and be proud of our bodies. Not that they expect us to be perfect, but when we take care of ourselves, it shows them that not only do we care about ourselves, but we care about them. “If she puts some effort into her appearance and is comfortable in her own skin, you don’t notice the extra pounds.” Shaunti Feldhahn, for women only.
“According to a survey from Psychology Today, one of the quickest and best ways to feel good about your body is to have a rewarding sexual relationship with your husband. Good sexual experiences breed high levels of body satisfaction. It’s a circle. When you feel good about your body, you can be an exciting lover, and when you have a wonderfully free sexual relationship in your marriage, you feel better about your body.” Intimate Issues.
Let’s use our bodies to entice and delight our husbands. Let’s honor God by giving ourselves freely to him.
So often men are assumed to be way into sports even if they aren't, making most man-analogies completely irrelevant to those men. Along the same lines, men and women get put in to the same type of box some times in regards to their sexual behaviors. Not all husbands are left rejected and unsatisfied. Sometimes the wives are, and there doesn't seem to be much helpful information about this. This makes both the man and the wife feel like there's something wrong with them which also makes the problem worse. Is there any help for these people without asking your man to read a book written by women for women or giving your woman statistics that make her feel like a whore?
ReplyDeleteI am enjoying your blog, Barb! Our church small group just finished with the "Love and Respect" DVD series by Emmerson Eggrichs, and it had a lot of the same good information in it. I think often women view sex the same way my boys view teeth brushing or bath taking. "Awww, do we have to do that? Didn't we just do it, like yesterday or last week or something?" "Because once a month isn't enough--it's not good for you." I think our culture too, has had a negative impact on the marital bedroom, because it gives all of us the idea that we are in charge of our own bodies, and that any forfeiture of that "power" is slavery or prostitution or subjugation. God teaches us that the husband is in charge of his wife's body and the wife is in charge of her husband's . . . in that respect, each spouse is simply exercising his or her own right and responsibility over the other, to further God's expectation and gift of marital closeness and togetherness. Isn't it funny that while dating, you can't wait to get to this mysterious and wonderful sex buffet, and now suddenly, married, you have a seat at the banquet table, and everybody has decided to diet? Keep up with this. God is richly blessing many many people through your honesty and effort, (regardless of any possible "naysayers" out there.)
ReplyDeletePS Do you really still have my senior picture? Destroy it at once :-)
Thanks Kristi! Glad you are enjoying it. Who knew I'd ever be doing this?! You are right about what you wrote. My favorite line is, "Isn't it funny that while dating, you can't wait to get to this mysterious and wonderful sex buffet, and now suddenly, married, you have a seat at the banquet table, and everybody has decided to diet?" So sad but often so true!
ReplyDeleteNow let me see...I know that picture is around here somewhere...